As I read Girl in the Castle, the latest release from one of my favorite writers, Lizzie Lamb, I couldn’t help remembering my own life in a medieval castle. Like anyone brought up on Disney-f**ed fairy tales and princesses, I used to dream about living in a castle.

Like any Americans, the Hub and I jumped at the chance a few years ago to move into one corner of a medieval castle in the north of England. I was living the dream. Apparently, the dream is really, really cold and occasionally in a foreign language. Who knew?

Medieval Toilet. (Don’t ask about the toilet paper. Trust me.)

The main thing to remember about living in a 1000+ year old pile of stone is that the builders were a lot more concerned with discouraging visits from Vikings and Scots than with heat and er… sanitation.

But thanks to the sympathetic current owners of…